The Inevitable Conversation
by Catwings1026
Summary: Anyone who has ever had an overprotective brother or hovering dad can guess what this one is about... and since Val is sound asleep, it's just Fletcher and Skulduggery for a very simple chat.


DISCLAIMER: Not my characters, not my novels, just having a bit of fun.

Fletcher Renn had seen it coming, of course. The Inevitable Conversation. He'd dated enough girls with overprotective big brothers and hovering fathers to see it coming down the block, and in the past, the affect of bored indifference had served him well.

He doubted it would serve him at all, in this case… so he didn't even bother.

In fact, as much as he hated to admit it, he was rather curious about how this particular conversation would go. Not that he generally contributed to the discussion, making it more a soliloquy – but still.

He'd thought it odd that Valkyrie's suggestion of bringing him along on the stakeout was accepted, first of all. Generally, the Skeleton Detective considered reconnaissance a strictly two-man job, which meant himself and Val, and if Fletcher had been the jealous sort, he'd have been itching over _that_ ages ago.

_Okay, well, I am the jealous sort. After all… choosing any other bloke over me? ME? What kind of choice would that be? Say more about the intelligence of the girl, that would. But Skulduggery's more… a father figure? _No, that wasn't even remotely it._ Mentor? Brother? Cousin? _

The truth told, he honestly couldn't define what the relationship between Valkyrie and Skulduggery was. It certainly didn't fit any mold he'd ever considered. Too companionable for a teacher, too deep for a colleague, and he didn't want to even think about best friend, since best friends trump boyfriends when the chips are down, every time, no questions asked… at least, if the girl has any sense. Which Val had in buckets.

That being the case, he wasn't overly fussed about it, so long as Val made plenty of fuss over him - preferably in Skulduggery's presence.

_Besides, he's… well, he's dead. And way too old for her, anyhow. _

So here he was, relegated to the back seat, Val up front. Which DID bother him, since it made him feel more like a dog brought along for a ride. And, after the initial novelty of the thing wore off, he'd been astonished at how abysmally boring a stakeout was. No chit-chat, no music on the radio, no getting out and stretching… just sitting and watching one house that looked exactly the same as any other on the street. Fletcher wasn't even sure what, or who, they were staking out. Skulduggery had told him, of course, but he hadn't considered it important enough to remember.

What he'd found himself doing more than anything was dozing. Dozing, and watching Val and Skulduggery. Something as simple as a window being opened across the street would result in a glance from her, a subtle head tilt from him, no words exchanged, but some mutual agreement was come to, and they returned to wordless watching before Fletcher could manage to form the words to ask exactly what they'd been talking about, only they weren't talking.

When Val had dozed off herself, some hours before dawn, Skulduggery had shrugged out of his jacket and gently draped it over her, and she had murmured in her sleep, drawing it closer around her.

_I could've done that, _Fletcher muttered internally. _If I had a jacket. Good reason to start wearing one, maybe._

And that, when he was certain that Valkyrie was well and truly asleep, was when Skulduggery turned in his seat and addressed Fletcher for the first time in many, many hours.

"I'll keep this very, very simple. Simple," he said, "is good. I like you, Fletcher, which in itself surprises me. You aren't quite as troublesome as I thought you'd be when we first met, and you've proven yourself reliable and an asset to this team. And Valkyrie likes you quite a bit, which holds considerably more weight with me. So… in case you've been wondering… no, I've no problem whatsoever that you and Valkyrie are courting."

"Courting?" Fletcher coughed, trying to cover up the laugh. Laughing at the Skeleton Detective would be bad. It didn't take any genius to know that. "Sorry. There's a reason that term went out, like, two centuries ago. It sounds so… so…" Somehow, "weird" and "dorky" didn't seem the appropriate adjectives to fill the gap, though they were the first to present themselves.

"So… purposeful? Committed? Intentional?" Skulduggery offered. "So clearly opposite to the current colloquialisms of 'seeing each other' and 'together'?"

"Yeah. If I understood what you'd just said, that would probably be it. Val's right – you use way too many long words."

"I was rather hoping I'd underestimated your vocabulary. Being that I apparently have, I was simply noting that anyone can be 'seeing each other' – I see you, you see me, and we are not, under any circumstances 'seeing each other' - and 'together' is more adverb than relationship status. To be courting, however, implies that you're in this for more than – if I must use current slang, so be it – for more than a bit of snogging."

Fletcher felt his face redden. This was almost worse than his dad's 'birds and the bees' talk. Almost.

Skulduggery turned, draping an elbow over the seat, and regarded him directly. His voice never left the conversational tone he'd started with, but while Fletcher had faced down Skulduggery at his most intentionally threatening, this was somehow MORE ominous.

"You recall, I hope, that when we first met, I told you that you don't want me as an enemy. You seem to have followed that advice fairly well. Still, reminders are good things – and so to the point.

"If you ever hurt Valkyrie, or make her cry – for any reason - you will immediately fall from my good graces, and at that point you and I will… have words."

"Words?"

"Yes. Those words will be 'I'm terribly sorry' and they will immediately precede me rendering you into a state of painful unconsciousness. When, or if, you come out of it, I will decide if we need to have words again." A pause, just long enough for Fletcher to swallow. Hard. "Are we clear about that?"

"Uh… yeah. Yes. No hurting Val, no making her cry." He wanted to flare out in righteous indignation… hurt Val? Make her cry? What did this bloke think he WAS – some two-bit high school cad? But somehow, somehow, the words and the indignation did not come. It might have had something to do with his pulse jackhammering against his adam's apple. "Got it."

"For ANY reason," the skeleton prompted, still sounding unsettlingly cheerful.

"For any reason."

"Good lad." Skulduggery nodded. "I'm so glad we've had a chance to get to know one another better, Fletcher. Thanks for coming along on this one."

Beside Skulduggery in the front seat, Fletcher heard Valkyrie shift in her sleep… and if such a thing were possible, he could swear he'd heard her smile.

-oo-


End file.
